The Intrusion...

I heard the front door alarm beep while I was in the shower. I wasn’t ready. I still had an hour before he was supposed to return. I didn’t want him to see my dress and accessories hanging on the door. Tonight was supposed to be magical. I dried off quickly, running down the hallway to my room. The light was still off so I guess he was in the kitchen making himself a drink or getting a bite to eat. He couldn’t ever wait for dinner. He had to start early with everything. I guess it isn’t terrible that he was an on time person, but I wasn’t. I was always five minutes behind schedule even when I started out ahead. I slipped into my robe and started to lotion my legs.

Winter always gave me the roughest skin. Dry, scaly, alligator skin because all I did was wear boots and jeans and slacks and leggings. Nothing that ever required any part of my legs to show. He always thought it was funny to rub his hands over my soft, DRY, skin when I undressed. He would try to write his name with his finger nail. Scrawling out the letters in the ash and dead skin. I could hear his footsteps as he tried to tiptoe down the hall. I giggled to myself because he was always happy or playful and it made me feel the same way. He made me feel so secure, so protected. He was everything I’d ever wanted. But the door opened and it wasn’t him.

“Don’t scream?” A pair of his blue jeans were folded on the bed covering his dirty socks. One tennis shoe had disappeared, while the other sat near the bathroom door. His famous “This Cock Rocks” Belt buckle had found its way into my overturned heel. My panties lay crumpled on the disheveled sheets exposing the remnants of a private moment. An innocent moment stripped of its purity. Lavender and lilac fragranced oil scented the scene. I couldn’t believe this was happening again. “What the fuck are you doing in my house?” My ex had returned. I knew in my gut he hadn’t given me back all my keys after the last time I found him waiting in my living room for me. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to believe he just needed closure. I wanted to be nice. To make him feel like we were still in love to some degree. I shouldn’t have done that and now I was going to die because of it. I moved towards the door. My bedroom suddenly felt like a dungeon. He followed my movements, grabbing at my wrist as I reached for the doorknob. Chills ran up my spine. Alarms rang in my head. My Alarm is all I thought about. I can’t believe I hadn’t armed the stupid thing before I got in the shower.

“What do you want?” I said. He was motionless. His clothes wrinkled and dirty from days of wear. His cologne masking a body odor so pungent I wanted to throw up. He handed me a sheet of paper. A poem he’d received from me in the beginning of our relationship. A sticker from our first date was taped to it. “ Im not going to hurt you.” He said. But he already had. He tore my heart apart. He destroyed my trust, my belief in the relationship system. He destroyed the fantasy we were creating. My heart felt stomped on and set a fire. I was disgusted by the sight of his face. The sight of his sadness and pity he thought he deserved because he was suddenly alone in the world. He didn’t deserve me any more than I deserved the disruption he’d just made in my life and night. I felt an anger swelling inside of me and I’d suddenly became something he should be afraid of.

I pushed the door closed with my free hand and turned towards him. I was shorter by too many inches but I felt as big as the hulk. I pushed my finger deep into his chest. Touching the wounds in his soul. I pushed with all my might, backing him into a crawl space. His eyes now groveling like a wounded dog. I broke him with my thoughts. Fuck you! Fuck you for ruining my night. Fuck you for breaking my heart. Fuck you for allowing me to fall in love with you knowing you didn’t plan on returning the favor. Fuck you for showing up to my house unannounced and thinking some stupid fucking poem was going to save us somehow. Fuck you for thinking my new man wasn’t here. Fuck you for intruding in my life once again. Fuck you for ever smiling at me. For ever holding my hand. For ever buying me a gift because they were all fake promises and fake gestures. Fuck you for thinking you could intimidate me. And fuck you for ever thinking you could hurt me again. I’d taken all his power. Ripping out his heart then feeding his leftover shit back to him. His slid down the wall just as the door to my room swung open. There stood my knight in shining armour. Fist full of flowers, hair perfectly combed, jacket perfectly pressed, face full of worry. I went to him, smiled and kissed him on the lips. “You’re early. Give me a few minutes to finish getting dressed.”